Wednesday, March 13, 2013

All-American Flushing, Still At Local Prices

Get an inner tube checkup now.

Here at Don's Colon we provide only the finest cuisine and All-American Colon Showers. If you haven't given us a try yet, hey.

Maybe it's time.

You've heard of Vegetarian. We do that.

You've heard of Vegan. Ditto, and it's OK.

You've heard of Raw Food Vegan. Well, guess what? Yep.

And so on.

But where's the limit? Can you spend your whole life searching for the perfect diet?

Yes, and we cater too.

But what's the end game? Well, it's a wild tofu chase, folks. Once you start that hunt you may end up feeling like the Pope in the woods some days.

Food has its limits, and of everything you eat, only so much gets processed. And then, you know what happens next.

That's were we come in.

Here in lovely Cuenca in lovely Ecuador we have a paradise.

A paradise of weather, of low food prices, of gringos stampeding to get the last $800 rental before it goes up to $1200. And if you're looking for a $300 rental, it's now the $800 rental.

Food is one of the last bargains, so people go overboard, especially Social Security recipients hoping to make it here on that monthly check. Once they find out what rentals cost now, they eat to compensate.

No, even if you're on our Raw Food Vegan Plan, you can still use an occasional tune-up to remove impacted residue.

And that's were we make our entrance into your scene.

Stop by any time.

No reservations needed. We have the conveyor running 24/7, and it'll take you straight through our Flush 'N Wax and deposit you out the other end in no time.

And after your Flush, what then?

Go for it.

Try the choice petit filet mignon or fish special, with garlic bread, onion soup, Caesar salad, potato, and veggie. Regularly $10 + tax and tip, but fully covered by the $99.99 Flush Price.

In other words, the best of all possible treats after a vigorous treatment, and a great antidote to all that crunchy raw food you've been gnawing at in frustration.

To your health then, from Don's Colon.

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