Monday, May 5, 2014

Flowers For America

Stumpy The Patriot said, Simply eliminate the cut flowers coming from Ecuador (a country that supports the traitor-facilitator Assange) and replace these imports with American grown flowers. Why buy something from a country whose interests are contrary to those of the US?

I've often wondered why U.S. politicians spend so much time trying to fart themselves to death over what the Cubans do in their spare time, what Hugo Chavez used to have for breakfast, whether an elected government can be democratic if it doesn't look to Washington for instructions on every item.

Etc.

Do you really care what clothes Iranian women want to wear? Was it really a good idea to spend a trillion dollars to take Iraq from a dictatorship all the way around the dial to a dictatorship before we once again declare victory and pull out for good?

But not a single one of them to my knowledge has ever proposed dealing with the vast commie conspiracy in China, the country whose economy will be the largest in the world by the end of this year. That's 2014.

Based on eating our lunch. Handed to them by BigBiz. Because BigBiz would rather use slave labor than have to pay for it.

Why not start another war and deal a deadly blow once and for all? Why give away everything we've ever built for cheap Wally World T-shirts? Anyone up for going over the top?

I'd say, given the lack of jobs for the currently unemployed, graduating college seniors, and the bleak prospects for succeeding generations, let's give guns to everyone over the age of 12 who is not currently working, and blanket China by air-dropping them into that dark and evil country to take it apart from the inside out. That'll give them a few lessons on free enterprise, fair trade, and democracy.

Meanwhile, what was that about flowers?

Flowers?

Right, Sparky. It appears that the U.S. flower market is now dominated by foreign people of dubious pedigree, shipping in thousands of tons of the soft-petaled, gently scented, herbaceous, purely-frivolous decorative items. Living as I do at the moment just around the corner from Cuenca's flower market, I have seen what they are offering, and I think we can take them.

If the Ecuadorians can plant flowers hardy enough to not only sprout but also to push up through several feet of drifted snow in sub-zero temperatures (Fahrenheit, no less), and blossom — well then, those same plants can make it in Ohio. We don't need no stinkin' imports. We'll do fine reducing our minimum wage to match Ecuador's $340 a month, and happy for it. (Better than working at Wally World, right?) Screw it. We're tough and we can do it.

But why stop once you get rolling?

How about the U.S. grow all its own coffee? Move off Guatemala, Nicaragua, Panama, Venezuela, Vietnam, Brazil, and all the rest of those countries who are ignorant of our truth and beauty, and grow the pure rich stuff right in Kansas? Same with bananas. Plenty of room for them in Montana and Idaho, and they're fun to use for target practice. (Easy to sight in on with that clean bright yellow color. Maybe have a NRA brand with little target stickers?)

And where the hell did we get the idea to buy anything from Vietnam? Was that part of the unconditional surrender terms? I say go Kansas.

Then again, why not all U.S. grown for everything? On U.S. government plantations? True freedom. Totally free enterprise.

Ditto Julian Assange. He's a non-issue, serving a self-imposed life sentence. Until Rafael Correa leaves office anyway. Heh. Sorry about that, J.A. — asylum was only a gesture. Move along now, there's a good lad.

No one cares about him, certainly not here in Ecuador. No one has ever mentioned him. Anyway, he's not a traitor unless Australia gets into a snit and has some reason to engage in a round ankle-biting. He's just a guy, and Australia seems to have real business to take care of.

Meanwhile, Ecuador doesn't sell flowers or bananas or avocados to the U.S. Ecuadorian businesses do. Following a private-enterprise model. Like this guy: Ecuadorian rose exporter finds profit in mixing business with social and environmental consciousness.

Or this company: One of the world's largest orchid growing and exporting facilities is only 22 miles from Cuenca

Oops. I forgot chocolate. The U.S. can grow its own cacao, right? Sure, why not? Forget about Pacari Chocolate. Pacari is family owned and is a bean-to-bar chocolate manufacturer, as well as fair-trade, Kosher, and Certified Organic. Family shmamily. Let's have the government declare that U.S. citizens can't buy from them because families are by nature communistic. (Your spouse ever charge you for sex? You ever charge your kids rent? Diaper-changing fees? Didn't think so. Join the club, commie rats.)

And forget about Kallari too. Same kinda commie cooperative subversive crapola. (When did that ever work?) The only native American chocolate. We are a cooperative of 850 families of the Kicwha Nation and our people have lived in the Napo Province for over a thousand generations.

So what does that mean?

One thousand generations. What if their tired old relatives invented chocolate? They don't even have a single toxic waste dump yet. No mass killings carried out by law-abiding citizens who love their guns and hate everything else.

One thousand generations. So what?

We can now make chocolate out of good old North Dakota crude. Any day now. We got plenty the stuff comin' out all over. As someone who grew up back there in the Land of the Frozen Dead before it got trendy, I can assure you that my people need work too and can probably figure out something that is both gooey and chewy and leaves practically no bitter aftertaste and is both brown and very seldom either immediately toxic or explosive. Just like the real stuff.

Sure. Let's do it.

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