Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Surviving Traffic

Bouncing around the bumpers.

It's been a while.

I know the rules, but since I'm not the only player in this game, I have to keep learning their new variations. Hey – it's evolution. Or something.

Definitely not survival of the slow and stupid.

Take crossing the street on a green light. Yep. I made that mistake on Saturday.

I waited to be sure that the next car coming my way was not going to turn, by not turning. Signal lights are like Christmas decorations – some use them and some don't. Anyway, they're only lights. You can't judge an advancing army by what it's PR team emits – you gotta watch what they do.

OK so far. This cab was decidedly going straight across, so I stepped into the street and began striding across at a brisk clip. Past the halfway mark, I noticed that the next car in line was making a tight left turn and accelerating.

Toward a point that would put it right smack on top of me.

So I sped up. And so did the driver.

Then I stopped. And so did the driver.

Then I backed up, out of the driver's way, and circled around the rear end of his car as he zoomed out of there, once again free to roam.

Both of us lived. I guess that's a win for me, though I care about only my half of that equation. Screw the driver.

For a while I had fantasies about having hopped up and rolled onto the car's hood in an attempt to survive, then lying there and refusing to move, maybe with the driver jerking and swerving, accelerating and braking in an attempt to slide me off.

But that didn't happen, and I'm glad not.

Win #1: I walked away. Win #2: I thought about refining my technique.

Modified Rule: Cross streets only when and where it is safe. (As soon as I can figure out a good definition of safe.)

Might be a while, but until then, I've still got two working legs. Not all bad, I guess.

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